TW: Victim blaming
**also I apologize this is super disorganized....as you can tell I'm pretty pissed off. (:
[ Welcome to UWEC!
You’re really important to us, but only your money (and if you’re a person of
colour, then we want your face!) You won’t be protected here, but you can feel
free to meet with our administration about anything, because we’ll be sure to
victim blame you about anything that happens on this campus because THAT’S NOT
OUR PROBLEM! You’re in charge of your own safety! While you're at it (being intellectual human beings and learning from our colonized education system!), grow
thicker skin because your opinion really does matter to us, but only if it’s our opinion! ]
UWEC: You cannot
afford to not be intersectional.
I admit, I focus a
lot of my activism on race. I focus a lot on it because it’s the topic that
will get identified POC males talking and paying attention because it effects
them directly.
I have not begun
to talk about the activisms of sex, gender, sexuality, until recently and to be
honest, I’m quite ashamed of it. I have identified myself numerous times as a
Hmong woman, but that woman part of
me has never quite entered my own activism until recently.
Intersectionality
is what activists must work on constantly. And it is not easy. It is so fucking
difficult sometimes that I feel like I’d be better off if I just brush it off
and just think about one thing. Race. Sex. Socioeconomic status.
But that is an
injustice to everything and everyone I stand for. By not amplifying the voices
of those of marginalized identities that I myself do not identify with, I am
therefore part of the problem. I become the oppressor.
And speaking of
oppressors, I bring this back to something I am not looking forward to. School.
In particular this blog post is to hold accountable UWEC for its future
actions.
Primary Trigger
Warning: remnants and repercussions of of sexual harassment, mentions of sexual
assault and rape.
Secondary Trigger
Warning: getting your feelings hurt because a bi woman of colour calls you out
on it is not oppression. srry yt boiz
I am terrified to
go back to school this semester, based upon how this past semester played out.
The violence that incurred in classrooms and on campus areas was something that
traumatized me. It was the blatant white supremacy and misogyny this past
semester. It was the lack of support from those I had called allies. It was the
violence that the faculty and staff in administration showed in their lack of
cooperation, in their invalidation, and the trauma of students that they
fed/continue to feed on.
The UW-System is
not built for students of marginalized identities. They speak of diversity as
if it is easy, as if it is a face value. UWEC sweats diversity everytime it
fucking breathes, like they are the holders of the right to it.
The trauma and the
hostile environment that education systems create are epidemic.
I am fucking
terrified this next semester to go back to school. It is no longer a question
of ‘if’ some fucked up shit happens (and administration does nothing about it
other than brushing it under the rug) but when
it happens, and to whom.
This past
semester, I was almost sexually assaulted outside of my dorm. I do not want to
go into details because such an occurrence left me unable to be alone on campus
until I moved out. I explicitly stated in my report to the Bias Incident Report
Team (BIRT—an innefective team that sits and plays politics while students are
actually out there doing shit). “I want this fucking campus to address that
victim blaming is not fucking okay, and that demeaning women by giving them
‘compliments’ is not fucking okay and being drunk is not an excuse for this
type of behavior. I would like to see this incident publicized as well in some
way, shape or form, but that the public statement goes through me first to
ensure accuracy.”
I received the
draft a week later. But it was not from the appropriate means of obtaining the
draft. It makes me think that it was never intended for me in the first place. I
edited it and sent it back to my contact, who then sent it to through the
channels. UWEC has a knack of not including students into conversations that
involve students. It’s almost like they lack transparency and are trying to
hide something. The original version, my edit, and the final version is below.
Someone picked up
the case, and I identified one of the males who had come up afterwards and
apologized on behalf of his friends. My ‘investigator’ I guess I’ll call her,
did not follow up with me after that. I emailed her after I got back from
Vietnam and summer training, and she said this (attached).
I know this ‘Cooper’
guy that I identified was not one of the perpetrators of my case but rather a
bystander, hence why the information that she gave me about the unlikeliness
that he was hanging out with these people consuming alcohol is absolute
bullshit. The information was actually traumatizing because of the fact that if
he had been the one who had tried to
sexually assault me…my case would have been my word against an RA’s. She has
not done any follow up with the actual male I identified. I don’t give a fuck
if he’s a good student, because that’s how Brock Turner got away. That’s how so
many of these fucking white boys get away, because it’ll impede their education
or their college experience or have a lasting impact on them. Well this has had
a lasting impact on me.
I cannot get
myself to go back onto that campus after this. I will not be protected by the
university if anything happens to me. But I have to because I need to graduate.
I need to because I have no other choice. I need to because if it isn’t me,
then who?
The injustice that
the students before me have faced, that I have faced, and those who will face
it…I am scared. My situation could have been much worse and when it happens
again…I know this university will do nothing about it.
It is my senior
year. I have been here for 3 years, and I’m here for another 1 and a half. This
university has destroyed me and the only people who have given me validation
are the ones who see through this university’s brand bullshit. I’ve seen people leave this place whether by
graduation or just the hostility that the university has towards people who
challenge the system, who demand basic rights—demanding safety.
It is my senior
year, and this university is in worse condition than when I came in. It has
become so much more hostile because white Christian males think that they are
being oppressed (I have had two+ people tell me this on more than one occasion in
my profession on campus). Equality feels like oppression when you’re so used to
privilege.
It is my senior
year, and I feel like I’m going to die here. And if I do, all the people who
have ever done me wrong on this campus better prepare themselves.
It is my senior
year. And I am scared to leave this university in worse condition than I have
found it. I am scared for the incoming freshman who will be victims of sexual harassment,
assault, and rape during the first few weeks of school, but also throughout the
semester on this campus. I am scared for my counterparts, who I know are
enveloped in a cocoon of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. I cannot
bear to lose the people who give me purpose, who light my fire.
It is my senior
year, and my heart is about to burst from anger.
It is my senior
year and I’m here to haunt the existence of the administration even after I
leave. I want my words and my presence to breathe on their necks long after I
am gone.
It is my senior
year.
See you soon,
UWEC.